Above: Lt. Cdr. Ben Reeve accompanied by Percy on planting a Ginko Tree at Southwick Park, Hampshire, July 1986 after a long association with H.M.S. Dryad that was based there.
The following Eulogy was written for the address by Rev. Gordon Winchester on 15th March 2007 at St. James the Great Church, Ewhurst Green, East Sussex at the funeral of Ben Reeve:
Ben Reeve was born in Solihull within six months of the outbreak of war. He was to spend his early years in Shropshire with his mother and sister Sally as the Blitz reached Birmingham. With the war in Europe over, a conflict continued at home which ultimately saw a painful split between his parents. Ben stayed with his father. He was to find the arrival of Bar in the family, who married his father Eric, a calming restitution. She brought love and a brother and another sister for Ben. He was a choirboy of some note, a finalist in a national competition. Like his father and uncles, he won a scholarship to Solihull School and became an enthusiastic Scout. He loved the countryside and cycled out to help on farms in the summer. He was banging on the door of the Royal Navy at sixteen and was told to come back with A’Levels. So he did. He was given the option of an open scholarship to Cambridge.
Above & Left: Ben with his father, sister Sally and pet rabbit; as a young boy with a cuddly rabbit and two other shots with sister Sally taken in the garden at Miall Park, Solihull in the late 1940's; also as a choirboy
It was a slim, handsome and fun-loving Lieutenant that Mary Clark fell in love with in 1961 on a holiday with mutual friends in a Cornish fishing village. A warm correspondence followed and then marriage two years later.
In his 30 year Naval career, Ben grasped the opportunities to see far-flung corners of the world and remained fascinated by its variety. He served on HMS Highburton, Londonderry, Charybdis, Lowestoft and Fife (amongst others). He partook in both peace-keeping and conflict, enjoyed his role as specialist navigator and always took his duty seriously. In the late sixties, Mary, and a very young Nicola, joined him for six months in Singapore.
He was always the dashing navy lieutenant. On his travels he saw both the Northern and Southern Lights, intercepted gold smugglers, witnessed a volcanic island rise from the sea, was held at knife-point, met with Royalty and Heads of State and partook in many “crossing the equator” parties … although some of any tour was doubtless tedious.
At home, a steady stream of colourful postcards would build into a pile as dots on the large world wall map snaked around continents before the ship headed home. He was away for the birth of Nicky. For Sarah he was playing hockey in Portland but met his new daughter in Portsmouth that evening. He didn’t meet his son Anthony until he was three months old.
Above Left: Ben in uniform Above Right: The Royal Navy enter Wellington, New Zealand May 1974. H.M.S. Fife leads with Ben on board, then Argonaut, Londonderry (a previous posting), Scylla, Danae and Ariadne complete the line.
On any homecoming, he was anxiously awaited by Mary and the three children on the sea front at Southsea as the ship would appear over the horizon and slip into the Solent. Anthony’s “Hello Daddy” was memorably picked up echoing through the mist on one dark homecoming; it procured a chorus of manly responses from across the water. Any tour was too long to be away from his beloved Mary, Nicola, Sarah and Anthony. He rose to the rank of Lieutenant Commander and was to have perhaps his happiest years of his Navy career at the shore base HMS Dryad. His duties included the management of the parkland estate, which he patrolled with his trade-mark silver topped stick in hand and Cairn Terrier at his heel. At Dryad he combined Navy life with family life and within a beautiful countryside setting - an ideal job.
He was never afraid to try something new or potentially dangerous be it the brewing of alarmingly potent wines, explosive beers or caravanning. He was quick-witted and could be short-tempered. He smiled and could be at ease with anyone. As a friend he was always faithful. Like his father he would on occasion punctuate conversation with cringe-worthy puns. At family board games he was competitive and not always graceful in defeat. He was polite, a true gentleman, but did not suffer fools gladly.
Ben had a warm heart. He didn’t often show his underlying emotions but was visibly moved when he encountered exceptional kindness - particularly when combined with duty. He was deeply appreciative of many of the carers who looked after him in recent weeks. Before them, throughout life, his colleagues and team members or fellow officers and men were always held in the highest regard. The respect was earned and mutual for all. At every post he ever left, there were always those who willed him to stay.
He remained enormously proud of his family to the last. He was utterly devoted to Mary over the 43years since they married and devoutly loved his three children as they themselves have married and started families. As a father and grandfather he was loving, fun, inventive, giving, always supportive and would always want to know what each of the family had been doing since he last saw them. He would listen intently to the answers. He was a good listener. Always the Navigator he would want detailed travel plans and arrival times and would become agitated if the plan was ever changed.
Above (left to right): Ben, Nigel, David and Nicky Spratt, Ben and Mary Reeve, William, Rob, Sarah and Emily Howes, Anthony, Sheila and Lydia Reeve - that's all children, with spouses and grandchildren, pictured summer 2006 at the anniversary party of Sharon and Chris Hall (ben's sister and Brother in Law).
Ben was always driven by a sense of fairness and justice and would stick to his principles whatever hurdles got in his way. He could always spot the best solution to a problem and could be relied on for clear, sound advice. Throughout his life he held a firm Christian faith which sustained him to the end.
He was proud of his heritage and the family line. Typically resolute and persistent he embarked on researching family history over the last few years. The resultant meticulous work, extraordinary in its breadth and fastidiousness, is testament to a man who was passionate about detail, accuracy and endeavour. He applied these qualities to everything.
Above: Research continuesAfter the Navy he was Bursar to the Pestalozzi Childrens’ Village in Sedlescombe which brought Ben and Mary from Hampshire to East Sussex in 1990. There was a spell working for the Motor Institute in Hertfordshire before he started at Macmillan Cancer Relief in London. This lead to him becoming Macmillan’s Fundraiser for the South East Region.
He was naturally suited to his role as a Magistrate, and enjoyed the challenge of sitting on the drug rehabilitation board. He felt that in many cases offenders were more sinned against than having sinned. As a Church Warden here at St. James he worked tirelessly through an inter-regnum period to keep the Services going. He was a founder member of The Hampshire Gardens Trust. He founded the school society at one school and served as a school governer at another; in each case he has given his time freely and with infectious enthusiasm. In recent months he spearheaded this Parish’s Local Action Plan. He has left in his wake a catalogue of achievement borne out in the numerous and overwhelmingly kind letters of condolence that have arrived at the house in the last week.
Time was always observed so intently. The basis of navigation, it structured the world for Ben. He always said that “Time was the greatest gift that any man could give”. He used his time wisely and productively but died last week way before his time. He will be profoundly missed by Mary and his children together with Nigel, Robert and Sheila and his five grandchildren. Bar, and the families of Sally, Nick and Sharon, his brother and sisters, will also miss him. He will be missed by a wide circle of friends from all the paths he has travelled and by the many friends in this Parish.
Above: October 2005 Ben cradles Lydia his latest grandchild.
In his final days Ben was fearful that he was leaving the ship before he was meant to; that perhaps he was abandoning his duty. The care that he had for others and his concern that he was in some way letting them down was deeply troubling for him as his condition steadily worsened. Above anything it was his love for Mary and his family that he so clearly cherished and felt so deeply right until the day he died on his 67th birthday.
Donations in the memory of Ben Reeve, mindful of the wonderful care he received from the Nurses of St. Michael's Hospice working in the community can be made direct to:
St. Michael's Hospice, 25 Upper Maze Hill, St Leonards on Sea, East Sussex TN38 0LBt: 01424 445177 f: 01424 720907 info@stmichaelshospice.co.uk Charity No. 288462
Above: Summer 2005, Ben and Mary with their grandchildren - Emily, Ben, David and William.
“Ben proved an inspiration to Macmillan team”
"Ben Reeve was a passionate man - in particular about his work for national charity Macmillan Cancer Support. He held the post of area fundraising manager for East Sussex and Kent from 1994 to 2002.
During his tenure he lead and motivated a dedicated team of fundraisers and volunteer supporters from all walks of life, helping to raise significant sums to finance Macmillan nurse posts, cancer care units and hospice facilities across the south east.
Hastings was a significant beneficiary of the funds raised by Ben and his team.
His work included not only the funding of a number of the new nurse posts but also the opening of the new cancer care unit within the phase 2 building of the Conquest Hospital, providing facilities to help and support local people living with cancer.
Ben’s dedication to his task saw improvements in cancer care at places like Medway, Maidstone, Ashford, Eastbourne and Brighton.
Working closely with Macmillan colleagues and volunteers, Ben played an integral and significant management role in the raising of some £2.5m to build the new Martletts Hospice and Day Care Centre for Brighton and Hove.
He was active and dedicated in all aspects of his task to raise the profile of Macmillan and its charitable work within the local community.
He was a consummate public speaker in whatever forum - be it social, civic or business - and was particularly passionate to provide talks and information on cancer and cancer care to schools and colleges.
The work undertaken for Macmillan Cancer Support by Ben Reeve not only provided help to many local people living with cancer, but has left a legacy of services and facilities that will help provide ongoing care and support to both cancer patients, their families and friends."
John Cooper, Friend and former colleague
Above: Ben and Lydia in the garden in Sussex, late Summer 2006.
